At Urbody, we believe in the power of community and shared knowledge. "Ur Voices" is a new series where we bring together experts from various fields to share their wisdom and connect with our community. From wellness and mental health to fitness and beyond, "Ur Voices" covers it all. As we celebrate Mental Health Awareness Month, we're thrilled to start this journey with Iris E. Fernández Valdés, a queer wellbeing coach, who offers a guide to box breathing as a tool for self-connection and calm.
Iris E. Fernández Valdés (she/they) is a queer wellbeing coach from Puerto Rico living in New York. As an expert of health-promoting and energizing human connection, her job is to deeply listen to people, inviting them to voice their dreams and their challenges, encouraging them to feel worthy of caring for themselves and each other, and partnering with them to make it reality. In 2024, Iris started Abetter Way (abetter.org) an abolitionist endeavor that empowers people of marginalized experiences through coaching.
Breathing techniques are so much the rage some say they’re on their way out. And I’m here to tell you why mindful breathing is here to stay. At this point you’ve probably heard all about meditation and its benefits, and you’re either here for it, or you’re confused what all thefuzzis about because what did a deep breath ever really do for you?
You might be one of many people frustrated that even if your favorite influencer’s or therapists’ breathing techniques feel helpful momentarily, it’s not long before anxiety, depression, burnout, and heartbreak show their face again. Plus, the world continues to burn. How will self-regulation and coping skills help us bring about revolutionary political change?
Connection.
It’s all about connection. Indigenous wisdom across cultures all over the world has known what Western medical research has only recently begun to understand. Physical, mental, social, environmental, and spiritual health are inextricably linked to one another.
Health and wellbeing coaches are experts of health-promoting and energizing human connection. As a queer wellbeing coach, my job is to deeply listen to people, inviting them to voice their dreams and their challenges, encouraging them to feel worthy of caring for themselves and each other. I startedAbetterWay to empower people of marginalized experiences with my coaching. Coaching is more than a trendy tool for self-actualization, it’s a new way of relating with each other that grounds us in what matters most and galvanizes us to build strong, resilient, and self-determining communities – through connection.
I learned at a young age to hide parts of myself from other people who did not have the tools to make space and hold space for my truest joy nor my truest pain. How did I hide from others? By hiding from myself. It was impossible for me to witness my truth when no one around me could model what witnessing looked and felt like. The very first step to witness our emotions, our mind, our heart, and each other is to connect with our breath. So when I breathe, I feel empowered to witness myself.
We can only build radical and resilient communities that will withstand the stressors of organizing, by first cultivating a strong sense of connection with our bodies. By witnessing our breath, we start to grow comfortable witnessing our discomfort. By feeling our breath we start to grow relaxed feeling our pain. By listening to our breath we start to listen to our needs and grow attuned to the obstacles in our way. By grounding with our body, we grow better at grounding with others. And that’s the way we can bring about lasting change. Connect with your body.
Connection.
In this video, I share with you a simple tool that will become more and more effective the more you use it in your day to day life. As long as you remain grounded in your why. So when you count 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 don’t forget what’s most important to you and why it is you care to connect with your body.
